April 16, 2009
“The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven't changed in seventy or eighty years. Your body changes, but you don't change at all. And that, of course, causes great confusion." -- Doris Lessing, British author.
Are we baby boomers confused? I think I am.
Case in point.
Recently as we carefully prepared for a long road trip out-of-state, I realized how imperative it was to pack certain vital items in a place where I could find them later.
Thus, I wisely put the garage door opener in the truck's glove box thinking that surely I would find it there when we got home. It was paramount to protect this particular door opener since the other one disappeared three months ago.
Part way on our journey, the truck's electronic system sputtered, and we were forced to leave the truck at a repair shop and transfer our belongings to a rental vehicle. Prudently, I moved the last-remaining and endangered garage door opener and other valuables to a safe place in the rental van.
That was the last time I saw the garage door opener during the entire trip.
Our house keys suffered a similar fate.
Yet, miraculously, both surfaced days later in the GPS case where they were quite masterfully hidden.
But, there is more to this story.
On the last day of our trip, we visited a museum and enjoyed chatting with its volunteers. When one gentleman learned that I write a column about the reluctant aging of baby boomers, he handed me a document he thought newsworthy.
Little did he know how right he was.
The printed flyer read, "Have you been diagnosed recently with A.A.A.D.D. (Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder)?"
"Google it; you will see," he said smiling.
"You have to be kidding," I exclaimed. "I think I have that!"
I could not wait to find out, so as soon as our trip ended and I was back at my home computer, I searched online. There I found that Age Activated A.D.D. is indeed a serious problem, and I read a number of testimonials about how the ailment manifests.
I vowed to get some help for myself, but first I wanted to check my email and read the local paper. I walked once again toward my study but soon found myself in the upstairs hall trying to remember what I originally set out to do.
"What was I looking for and why did I come upstairs," I wondered.
"I have no idea why I am staring at the ceiling light," I lamented.
I lose things constantly and have no clue where I put them.
I start a chore, but before the task is finished, I move on to another project.
I am easily distracted, and can't sit through long meetings without getting up for a drink of water, a snack, or a bathroom visit.
Simply put, I must have Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
Yet, I consoled myself, "I am still wearing my glasses. I see that the remote is on the kitchen counter, my car keys are in my pocket, and my iPhone is in my hand. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am headed for the grocery store."
How bad could I be?
Don't smirk; your day will come.
